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Welcome Sir, I'm So Delighted

DEBIENNE:
Welcome, sir, I'm so delighted, Everyone is so excited...

(He indicates the group, who give Richard little flutters with their fingers)

What we need is someone new - just like you!
To pull this sinking ship back into shape!
(to front) And then we might forget the very dreadful way,
That really awful things go on here every day...

(There has been agitation in the ranks at this. Remy steps a little DL, rapping his ledger with his pencil. Faust and Mephistopheles cross to be behind Debienne, one to each ear)

REMY:
That's quite enough of that.

FAUST AND MEPHISTOPHELES:
You're not supposed to rat.

DEBIENNE:
(spreading his hands) Splipped out.

FAUST AND MEPHISTOPHELES:
(together; to each other) No doubt.

(They drop him and Remy crosses to Richard, who has eased over to the box to be with Raoul)

REMY:
(to Richard) Ignore him, dear sir.

RICHARD:
A word, if I may,
I've something to say...

(Faust and Mephistopheles have broken upstage a little and are whispering together)

REMY:
(to them) Pay attention, there!
(to Jammes, indicating off L) Close that door!

(As Jammes hurries round Debienne, Faust and Mephistopheles, to disappear off UL, Remy is singing off into the wings R)

Let's have some silence here - not a sound!

(Faust and Mephistopheles rejoin Debienne who is cupping his hands to his ears. They sing to Richard)

DEBIENNE / FAUST / MEPHISTOPHELES:
(together) We're all agog, sir.

RICHARD:
(using his cane to indicate an area DR) Gather round...

(In a little musical break, Richard crosses to L, Raoul leaves the box, Debienne, Remy, Faust and Mephistopheles form a little group DR, Debienne and Remy at the rear, Jammes dancing back on once more to take a low position at the front of them, hitting her pose instantly at the end of the breal)

I'd like to say -

(Raoul re-enters quickly from R, and crosses to Richard)

RAOUL:
We'd like to say,
(to Richard) Include me, too,
Unless you feel,
I'm in the way...

RICHARD:
(irritably) Not at all,
But let me speak.

(He crosses L a little, as the chastened Raoul breaks upstage a little)

MEPHISTOPHELES:
He's very chic!
It's unique!

(Faust crosses to C)

FAUST:
(to Richard; ingratiatingly) We're at your service,
Devotedly.
We're waiting with bated breath...
You're loyal troops...
Especially me!

(In the small break that follows, Jammes dances R a little, and presents her group. In all that follows, which is a simple, fairly static setting based upon three groups: Faust, Mephistopheles; Debienne, Remy; Richard, Raoul; Jammes, who does not sing, fills every tiny moment with dance or movement)

RICHARD:
(crossing back in a little) I want my staff,
To be a team,
To make me proud,
To be their boss.

FAUST:
We will, not half.

RICHARD:
(crossing back L, angrily) Don't intervene!

RAOUL:
(moving into Faust) It's not allowed,
And makes him cross.

(Seizing his opportunity, Mephistopheles leaves the group, delicately pulls Faust back by the scruff of his neck, and takes his place)

MEPHISTOPHELES:
(ingratiatingly; to Richard) I like your plan,
So just say when,
I'll help you pick,
Your new recruits.

RICHARD:
Well done, that man,
Ten out of ten.

FAUST:
(to others) She loves to lick,
The boss's boots.

(Mephistopheles turns on him moving UR)

MEPHISTOPHELES:
You rotten beast!

FAUST:
Get knotted love!

MEPHISTOPHELES:
You amateur!

FAUST:
You're such a bitch,
(to Richard) The true artiste,
Is far above,
This sort of gir -
- lishness...

MEPHISTOPHELES:
That's rich!

(Debienne hurriedly pushes through them, crossing to C)

DEBIENNE:
They understand you perfectly.

(Remy pushes between them and joins Debienne, C)

REMY:
Nobody here would disagree.

(During the following, Jammes moves behind them, takes them by the hand, comes between them, and kneels front once more in time to form their group for the chorus, acting the peace-maker. Amused by all this sycophancy, Raoul moves down to put his head between Debienne and Remy and his hands on their shoulders)

RAOUL:
And if they did, I'm sure they'd say (He crosses to join his father)

DEBIENNE AND REMY:
(together; looking for him) Oh yes, they would, sir, right away.

(For the chorus, all face front, in three tight seperate groups, Faust, Mephistopheles and Jammes R, Remy and Debienne C, and Raoul and Richard L)

ALL:
We're a team from now on,
United as one,
We're all in perfect harmony!

(Remy and Raoul break upstage, indicating Debienne and Richard)

DEBIENNE:
(to Richard) May I saw on behalf, sir,
Of the artists (he indicates them) and staff, sir,
(He indicates himself) We would hope that you'd keep us,
All in your employ.

REMY:
(crossing to put his head between Faust and Mephistopheles, hands on their shoulders)
They're so eager and loyal,
They'll pamper and spoil.

MEPHISTOPHELES:
(to Richard) Any service at all, sir, call us...

FAUST:
(nudging Jammes) Don't be coy!

(Jammes gives Richard a little sexy wave)

ALL (except Richard):
Do, sir!
We'll be happy to help you out.
Do, sir!

MEPHISTOPHELES:
Turn to me, if you can, sir...

RICHARD:
We shall see, we shall see.

RAOUL:
(crossing to Debienne) Don't count on it.

(He rejoins Richard, L, and the same three groups face front once more)

ALL:
It's the height of the season, And the opera's the reason.
We are striving to see,
It's a stunning success.

(Jammes dances across to kneel C in front of Debienne and Remy)

We'll regard it as treason,
If it's any less.
Tra la la la la la,
Mi mi mi mi!

(During the following, Jammes indicates the singers, and uses hands and arms to bring the whole thing to a pretty finish)

DEBIENNE AND REMY:
(together; to one another) What a hit it will be.

FAUST:
You can leave it to me.

DEBIENNE AND REMY:
(together; to Richard) If you pay him his fee.

MEPHISTOPHELES:
Me, I'll do it for free.

ALL:
We're a team, from now on,
United as one...
Everyone!